“The Avengers” was terrible.

   Maybe it was because I didn’t see the prequels movies (except the first Iron Man), but the structure of the plot tells me otherwise. After I put the puzzle pieces together I realized this: the movie is awful, even if you know what is going on.


   The movie is a typical action scene but two hours long; it has some talking in between so that the audience can calm down and one-liners that any twelve year old could conjure up for some laughs.         
   When the fighting happens (yes, of course it is in 3D) it just keeps coming. And I don’t know who is fighting who. There seems to be an army of creatures that remind me of “The Mummy,” with a few large robot-turtle-shark-alien things flying about. They are controlled by the main bad guy, Loki, but not really because he is an alien given control of an alien army by another alien of no relation to the first two alien groups. Got it?
   The good guys, the avengers, are put together by Shield, some force that is never explained. There are the superheroes we all know: the Hulk, Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, that one chick with a Russian name and red hair, and that dude who shoots exploding arrows really well. These are the B-list of heroes, the type that would clamor for airtime on “Dancing with the Stars” or to co-host “Live! with Kelly” (that morning show that comes on late and is only kind of cool because Regis Philbin is the old guy we all want to be when we grow up).
   All in all, The Avengers was not worth the money or the sleep I missed to watch it.

By Wyatt Christiansen